Every year for the high holidays I like to attend services at my Bubie's Orthodox shul, with my mom, brother, and Bubie. My mom, who grew up at the temple, loves introducing me to people she knew when she was little or friends she had growing up. Many of these people are Easten European Jews (or their children) who had come to America post 1945 and started their lives in Merrick/Bellmore, NY. So as I am am introduced to these people as Penny's daughter, many reply with the same response, "She doesnt look Jewish". What does that mean? Is it my physical features that make me look Non-Jewish? Is it because my mom has a bigger nose than me that I don't look Jewish when standing next to her?
On the other hand... I have many friends who barely associate with Judaism. When they see me wearing an Israeli Army sweatshirt or a Macabee Haifa t-shirt, my Chai and my Hadaya necklace, and my two rings; one a Jewish star, the other a quote in Hebrew, they say to me, "Heather, you are so Jewish!". To them, it is my "accessories" which make me look Jewish.
Lastly, there are many people with whom I regularly come into contact with that know nothing about me (classmates, people eating at the same resturant as me, fellow "bar goers" etc.). These are strangers who tend to look, stereotype, and place people in social groups (everyone does it). What do these people see when they look at me? I wonder if they think I am Jewish.
So... Is looking Jewish important? Should I care that fellow Jews think I don't look/look Jewish because of my apperance? Should being told that I look Jewish make me identify more as a Jew? I don't think so. Everyone is born into a religion, and as they become older they are able to decide how small/large a role it will play in their lives. To me, being Jewish goes past looks. Being Jewish comes from within. My mom always told me, "Its not whats on the outside, but whats on the inside that counts". I have been able to shape my Jewish identity by different exposures to the religion, my values, beliefs, ideas, and opinions, which have allowed me to form a meaningful connection with Judaism.
Sure, I like to wear my huge ring with the Jewish star in the middle, but with or without that ring, I'M STILL JEWISH!
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Hi Heather-
I think your post is very interesting...In regards to the question at the end of the third paragraph "What do these people see when they look at me? I wonder if they think I am Jewish." I often times think the same thing and have thought about whether or not "looking Jewish" meanings anything in terms of one's Jewish Identity.
I agree with you in the sense that for me Judaism comes from within and what one looks like on the outside should not have anything to do with how they think of themselves "Jewishly". But on the other hand, to some, their Jewish identity might be the accessories and "looking Jewish".
This may be a little out there, but if to someone "looking Jewish" helps them identify with Judaism, to each their own.
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